Crap Wars
by IdiotWithNoEmailAdress
Summary: Kiba pranks Naruto but when he gets him back Hinata gets in the way and.. sumting happens... WARNING Contains large amounts of poop
1. This is war! Rawr!

This was written doring one of my "Eheheee i'm high offa twinkieeesss..." moments

Chapter 1: This is War! Rawr!

A clawed hand pulled on a rope connected to a bell outside of Naruto's home. The loud "ding" that followed covered up sounds of snickering. Kiba hid himself in a nearby tree, Akamaru safely tucked in his jacket. With an amused smile he watched the scene unfold below him.

"Who is iiiitttt?" He heard Naruto ask in a high pitched sing-songey voice. Without even waiting for an answer (not that he would've gotten one anyway...) he flung open his door. "Yeeeesssss-AHHHH! FIRE! FIRE!" Naruto stamped on the flaming ball on his doorstep, but since he was wearing sandals the fire burnt his toes so he sort of did this weird hopping thing where he tried not to burn his feet and put out the fire at the same time, but since gravity existed, it didn't really didn't work so he just looked stupid.

"Look at him dance, Akamaru! Haha!" Kiba laughed openly, not really caring if he was heard anymore. The deed was done.

Once the fire was out Naruto glared up at Kiba, who was struggling to keep himself in the tree. He paused, looked down at Naruto, then broke out into a fresh wave of laughter. "HAHAHAHA... Hoo..." snort. "HAHA!"

"ARRGH KIBA!" Naruto pointed at the prankster, ready to let loose a barrage of insults and threats when he looked down at his feet. "What the hell! SHIT! AHH, SHIT! SHIIITTTT!" He screamed repeatedly upon realization that he stepped on a flaming bag of poo.

"AHAHAHA!" Kiba wiped the tears from his eyes. This was priceless.

"Aroo..." Akamaru wriggled in the jacked self consciously. It was bad enough when he watched Kiba scoop up his poop in a bag... Now this kid was shouting it out to the whole village. Embarrassing...

Innocent villagers screamed after being hit by the huge chunks of shit that Naruto sent flying though the air with his kicks.

"SHIIIIIIIITTTTTT!"

A woman glared and covered a child's ears as she walked by. The flying shit smacked her dead on the head, knocking her out. The kid laughed- I mean cried, picked her wallet off her and ran.

"I'LL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS, YOU MUUUUTT!" Naruto screamed at the retreating Kiba.

"ANYTIME, RUNT!" His laughing died off in the distance.

Naruto looked down at his crap soaked sandals and punched his fist.

This means war!

OK I'm gonna need you guyses help for the next chappies. Could you PLEASEEE review and tell me what gives you diharrea? YAAY doesnt everybody want to do that? claps

Readers: back away

NOOO DONT LEAVE I NEED YOUR CRAAP TO CONTINUEEEE!


	2. The Plan Kehehe

A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update! The next one won't take so long, I promise! (crosses fingers behind back)

Chapter 2:The plan. Kehehe...

After that, Naruto spent 3 hours walking his dog, Mr.Shmufflewuffikins for ammo. Wait... Shouldn't a normal dog have crapped by now? Naruto looked down.

"DAMMIT!"

He forgot he didn't have a dog. "Meh, it would've been lame doing the same thing, anyway..." Hmmm... What was worse that crap...? Hmmmm... Wore than dog crap on your feet... Crap... Feet... Dog... Worser... Dog... Crap... Carrot sticks...

"GOT IT!"

Naruto's face brightened with a grin. "MORE CRAP!" Oh... The problem was that he didn't have any dogs to make the crap. But he knew plenty of PEOPLE... People crap too, right?

That's right, THEY DO!

And not just crap on his feet, ohh noo, no, no... That bastard was getting it all up on everything!

Heh.

Heh heh.

Hehaheehahaehee-

"Naruto?"

Naruto spun around to see Ino standing behind them. She could've sworn she saw him thinking. Ohh no. Something bad was gonna happen. She frowned. "Naruto, what are you up to...?"

He ignored her question and grinned. He knew how to handle this. "Hey, Ino! Ino! ...You wanna go to a paartyyy?" (Let's say the word 'Party' to Ino is the same as uh... Ramen is to Naruto.)

All of her fearS dissapeared and she perked up. "Party?"

"Yeah. A little get together at my house! For the rookies."

"Yeah!Yeah! When? When?" She asked, sounding very much like a doggy who's master was dangling a treat in her face.

"Tomorrow night. Let everybody know, okay? Now remember, party party!"

"Ya ya, Party woo! Tell tell!" She ran home to pick out her outfit and call everyone.

The next day Naruto went looking for something big and.. durable enough for what he had in mind.

BINGO!

He found a nuclear waste bucket behind Ichiriku's (the ramen place he always eats at), of all places. "Wait a minute..." He eyed the bucket with a squinty eyed expression. "Why would a nuclear bin be behind the ramen shop...?" (Oho! What was this? A shred of COMMON SENSE within the normally stupid boy?)

After standing for a few more moments, he shrugged. "Eh, can't be that important..." (Ugh... Knew it was too good to be true...)

Naruto scratched his side. Damned third ear... It's been itching a lot lately...

Naruto dragged the waste bin into his bathroom and stared at it. "This is gonna hold a loooot of shit... But how do I fill it up? Hmmm..." He needed to learn how to poison his friends. And fast.

This kind of sucks, doesn't it...? Crap.. I butchered this story...


End file.
